Episode 265

October 17, 2016

Friedrich Nietzche said that humans are either a Camel, a Lion or a Child.

He also went crazy after seeing some dildo whipping his horse in the street.

Turns out that horse was Hitler.

Who's the Camel now Nietzche?

(It was the horse)


Episode 264

October 10, 2016

Leave a Penny, take a Penny, divorce a Penny for a Nickel with a dye-job and a lip-piercing that is twenty years younger and works part-time as an erotic dancer.

Just don't marry a stamp with an upside-down plane on it lest you fall out of it because it was before they had seat belts in planes on stamps.

I give up.

Episode 263

October 3, 2016

Another day another doughnut and by doughnut we mean donut. 

Our business manager has told us that we need to cut back so that means no more long words, no more executive toilet paper and no more finely crafted, award-winning, executive-class episode notes.

He's a terrible business manager. He's also a goat. That explains our outrageous expenditures on rusty-can futures.

It was the Dukes.

Episode 262

September 26, 2016

Continuing in our self-appointed role as the broadcasting equivalent of Elizabeth Jane Bulloch Adams, we settle and begin farming the podcasting equivalent of a one car pile-up this week.

We are hoping to soon pioneer the podcasting equivalent of a shuttered Jiffy Lube, a body-shaming touchless car-wash and a Canadian Tire outlet staffed with competent employees.

We'd have better luck midwifing in 19th Century Sinclair, Manitoba.

Just ask Robert Adams.

Episode 261

September 19, 2016

It's been a rocky week at Horsingham Downs for slightly less than one reason.

We ordered 18 tons of pea gravel for the games room and then realized we MEANT to have ordered the crushed gravel but it was too late after the pea-gravel seeds were planted under the floor-boards and that we had actually done so in the local YWCA by mistake. 

That's fine since gender-neutral bathrooms don't mind how you pee.

This post will soon be bulldozed in favour of an even worse one. 

You must also provide your own 'cricket' foley.

Eddie Murphy

Episode 260

September 12, 2016

Episode 260 has brought the tragedy of 9/11 back to life in the same way that 9/11 brought the tragedy of the Amazonian Rubber Wars back life to bounce off of our collective unconscious like some sick, unending game of 'dodge-the-Dodge Duster as it careers through the high-school parking lot and totals Mr. Steinson's 79 AMC Pacer. Gold with Red Interior. $600 OBO. No tire lickers...


Episode 259

September 5, 2016

It Takes a Nation of Onions to Hold us Back (from being funny) and we bring the 'ions' (Pronounced 'yunns') this week straight in 'yo ringy ol' face!

If you replace the olive in a Martini with a cocktail-onion they call it a 'Gibson'. 
They could also try to replace this podcast with something worthy of praise like a brand-name guitar. Like a 'Fender' for instance.
We're talking to you… 

Episode 258

August 29, 2016

Words support us this week as we have two dynamic guest-hosts and one host who best embodies the phrase "Static Cling".

That would be Flat Cap. 

He's very awful(ly good).

At typing.


Episode 257

August 22, 2016

"Nosferatu and I" is another failed project from the same vole-plex, mouldy, hay-loft couches that brought you: "Sunday in the Abandoned Industrial Park with Jordan", "The Phantom of Warren's Altima", and "Flat Cap Expressed!"

Sorry Gavin, it's in my mouth.

Episode 256

August 15, 2016

As the Stigmata of our beloved Lord represents His grace and suffering, the ear-holes of our sainted listeners are the Torans through which they are expelled from their respective Xanadus into the tortuous Golgotha of our unfunniness.

Don't wait around three days for things to improve either. This isn't "This Arimathean Life" after all.

You ARE going to "make it" after all though.