December 5, 2016
You can't spell sod without DOS nor can you start Microsoft with a lawn-based operating system (LOS)
Steve Jobs first pass at the iPhone was actually built with 79 acres of Kentucky Blue-Grass and a 1972 Toro Lawn Mower (with Mulcher).
This was after SJ's first attempt at building Steve Wozniak out of an in-lawn sprinkler system and a Bob's Big Boy statue ended up creating the Mac Apple Classic 2 instead.
Think different I guess.
November 28, 2016
When you're #271 do you try harder?
November 21, 2016
Contrary to popular lore the model for the Statue of Liberty was not Elvis but Lee 'Lee' Liberace.
Another little-know fact was that Liberace was 300 feet tall soaking wet.
He swam to the United States from France in 1886.
That explains the wet part.
November 14, 2016
Why do they call it "dry" cleaning if they...
November 7, 2016
Are tramp-stamps what Hobos use to mail half-baked premises to struggling podcasters down on their luck?
And since we've told you listeners so many terrible stories it's no wonder we have yet to receive a single, delicious, chicken dinner with all the trimmings sent from a kind-hearted lady by parcel-post.
At least you still haven't found us sleeping in your hay-loft.
A crime has been done here.
October 31, 2016
"No Notes is Good Notes" a famous notary was once noted as having noticed.
We're only into the Notary thing for the rubber-stamps. Better than those mailing stamps.
And that terrible percussive-centric stage production: "Stamp".
It's about Hamilton. George Hamilton. He was a famous Philatelist. Who was murdered when duelling with a stamp with an upside down bi-plane on it.
The End (?)
October 24, 2016
Did Plato use the Allegory of the Cave because The Beatles had already used the Simile of the Cavern?
Is it true that Socrates and Mick Jagger were lovers in the 60's but then had a falling-out that they eventually patched up twenty years later when they recorded "Dancing in the Streets"?
And does Flat Cap think that continuously mentioning figures from Philosophy will balance out his inability to think, say or write anything funny?
Did he also think that typing this post as a Socratic dialogue would make up for the fact that he has never traveled more than thirty miles away from the town where he was born?
Yes, yes, yes, and maybe.
October 17, 2016
Friedrich Nietzche said that humans are either a Camel, a Lion or a Child.
He also went crazy after seeing some dildo whipping his horse in the street.
Turns out that horse was Hitler.
Who's the Camel now Nietzche?
(It was the horse)
October 10, 2016
Leave a Penny, take a Penny, divorce a Penny for a Nickel with a dye-job and a lip-piercing that is twenty years younger and works part-time as an erotic dancer.
Just don't marry a stamp with an upside-down plane on it lest you fall out of it because it was before they had seat belts in planes on stamps.
I give up.
October 3, 2016
Another day another doughnut and by doughnut we mean donut.
Our business manager has told us that we need to cut back so that means no more long words, no more executive toilet paper and no more finely crafted, award-winning, executive-class episode notes.
He's a terrible business manager. He's also a goat. That explains our outrageous expenditures on rusty-can futures.
It was the Dukes.